How to know if love is a choice or a feeling

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Determining whether love is a choice or a feeling involves understanding the complex nature of love, which encompasses both emotional and volitional aspects. Many people fall in love based on their feelings which eventually leads to a relationship’s sudden failure. Because when the feeling is gone, then the relationship will suffer. Therefore, it is good to recognize how to know if love is a choice or a feeling.

Here are some key points to consider:

Love as a Feeling

  1. Emotional Connection:
    • Initial Attraction: Often, love begins with a strong emotional and physical attraction. This is usually felt as an intense, often euphoric emotion.
    • Chemistry: Feelings of love can be driven by chemistry and physical attraction, which can create an immediate bond and sense of connection.
  2. Spontaneous Emotions:
    • Passion: Feelings of passion and excitement are spontaneous and can arise without conscious effort.
    • Infatuation: Early stages of love can involve infatuation, which is intense but can be fleeting. This can sometimes be deceiving.
love is a choice or a feeling

Love as a Choice

  1. Commitment:
    • Decision to Love: Over time, love evolves into a commitment. Choosing to stay with someone, support them, and be there for them is a conscious decision.
    • Long-Term Effort: Love involves effort and the choice to maintain the relationship through challenges and changes.
  2. Actions and Behavior:
    • Acts of Love: Consistently showing love through actions, such as kindness, support, and sacrifice, requires deliberate choices.
    • Nurturing the Relationship: Making choices to nurture and grow the relationship, such as spending quality time together and resolving conflicts constructively, is a conscious effort.

Integrating Both Aspects

  1. Balance of Emotion and Choice:
    • Sustained Love: Long-lasting love typically involves a balance between feeling and choice. The initial feelings may spark the relationship, but choices sustain it.
    • Deepening Connection: Over time, the emotional aspects of love can deepen through the choices made to invest in the relationship.
  2. Mature Love:
    • Growth and Adaptation: As relationships mature, love becomes more about the ongoing choice to grow and adapt together, facing life’s challenges as a team.
    • Unconditional Love: Choosing to love someone unconditionally means committing to them despite imperfections and challenges.
love is a choice or a feeling

Practical Signs to Look For

  1. Feelings:
    • Emotional Response: Notice your spontaneous emotional responses. Do you feel joy, excitement, and a deep connection without trying?
    • Chemistry: Is there a natural, effortless chemistry between you?
  2. Choices:
    • Consistency: Are you consistently making choices that prioritize the relationship? Are you willing to put in the effort to resolve conflicts and support each other?
    • Commitment: Do you choose to stay committed even during tough times? Are you willing to make sacrifices for the relationship?
love is a choice or a feeling


Love is both a feeling and a choice. It often starts with strong emotions and attraction but evolves into a series of conscious choices that sustain and deepen the relationship over time. Recognizing love as both an emotional experience and a commitment helps in understanding its multifaceted nature. Feelings may ignite the spark, but choices keep the flame burning.

Also read:

What Makes a guy lie to you that he has a girlfriend

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3 thoughts on “How to know if love is a choice or a feeling”

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