In a controlling relationship, one partner tries to have dominant power over the other. Often, these types of relationships can be difficult to spot, because those in them can be manipulated into thinking that their partner’s controlling behavior is for their own good. If you’re not sure whether your relationship is healthy or if you might be in a controlling relationship yourself, read on for some signs to look out for. 10 ways on how to know a controlling partner will allow you to recognize the signs.
Leadership role
In any relationship, it’s normal for one person to take on more of a leadership role while the other follows. However, there can be a fine line between taking charge and being controlling. If you’re not sure where your partner falls on that spectrum, here are some warning signs that your partner may be too controlling for you.
No one wants to think that their partner might be controlling them. After all, you’re in a relationship because you want to be with each other. It’s not because you want to be controlled. Unfortunately, it’s not always that simple. Sometimes, what starts out as a seemingly innocent desire on your partner’s part to make sure things are “just so” can gradually turn into full-blown control.
If you’re wondering whether your partner might be crossing the line from helpfulness into controlling behavior, here are some warning signs to watch out for.
Your partner tries to control what you wear or how you look
One of the signs of a controlling relationship is when your partner starts making comments about your appearance or telling you what to wear. This can be a way for them to try to control how you’re perceived by others and make you more reliant on them. If your partner has ever said something like, “You’d be so much prettier if you just lost a few pounds,” or “I don’t like that shirt, why don’t you wear this one instead,” then they might be trying to control your appearance.
Sometimes, it also depends on the tone they use. Even though, there is nothing wrong with your partner commenting on your look occasionally. But if it’s now becoming every time, then it can be considered as they might be controlling you.
Your partner tells you who you can and can’t see
Another sign of a controlling relationship is when your partner insists on knowing who you’re spending time with and where you are at all times. They might say things like, “I don’t want you hanging out with her, she’s a bad influence. Or you didn’t tell me you were going out tonight, where were you? This kind of behavior is unhealthy and present in many abusive relationships.
Your partner checks up on you constantly
If your partner is constantly calling or texting you to check up on you, it might be another sign that they’re trying to control the relationship. This behavior can make it hard for you to live your life and have any privacy, which can be very isolating. If your partner gets angry or jealous whenever you’re unavailable to talk to them. It’s definitely an issue that needs to be addressed.
Moreover, nothing bad that your partner is checking you up. But when is now becoming too much and never having a breathing space, then is controlling.
Control your emotions
Another sign of a controlling partner is if they try to control your emotions. Do they tell you how to feel or what to think? Are they always the ones “in charge” of the relationship? If so, those are both signs that your partner is too controlling for you.
Sometimes when you are happy, they ask you why you are happy. Also when you’re not happy, it’s another big deal for them. They can’t just let you be. That’s controlling.
Always criticize you
One of the most obvious signs that your husband/partner is trying to control you will be if he constantly criticizes you. They will not only be trying to put you down so that they feel like a better person, but they will want to ruin your self-confidence so that you feel like you need them. However, they make you feel without them, you’re nothing.
They constantly come with negative words that make you sad. Meanwhile, they’re hurtful and not pleasant words. They make you feel less like a woman whenever they come with that criticism. That’s the highest level of control.
They make you feel guilty
They always make you feel bad anytime you don’t follow their way. You cannot even do anything to make yourself happy or satisfy yourself without their condemnation. For example, you can never buy anything for yourself. Despite your contribution to the relationship, you’re working and not a liability. It’s a sign of control.
Dictate what to do at a particular time
One of the telltale signs of a controlling partner is if they try to dictate how you spend your time. You can never do what you like. Do they get angry or give you the silent treatment if you don’t want to do things their way? Do they try to control what you do and when you do them? If so, those are all red flags that your partner may be too controlling for you.
Always upset when you’re alone with other people
If your partner is always asking where you are and who you’re with and gets angry or upset when you don’t answer their questions to their satisfaction, that’s a red flag. In a healthy relationship, both partners should feel free to pursue their own hobbies and interests and have separate friendships. It should happen without having to check in with each other all the time. If your partner is trying to control how you spend your time with other people like friends and family. It’s a sign that they may be trying to control you.
They dictate what you can and can’t
If your partner regularly comments on your clothing choices or tells you what is good and not good, that’s another classic sign of control. In a healthy relationship, both partners should feel free to express themselves. However, they see fit within the bounds of mutual respect. But if your partner is constantly telling you what they do and doesn’t like about the way you look. Putting pressure on you to dress a certain way. It’s a sign that they may be trying to control how you present yourself to the world.
They control your finances
Another sign of a controlling partner is if they try to control your finances. Do they tell you what you can and can’t spend money on? Do they give you an allowance? If so, those are signs that your partner is too controlling for you.
They try to control what you eat or how much you weigh
A common sign of a controlling partner is if they start making comments about your eating habits or physical appearance. Especially if those comments are negative or derogatory. No one deserves to be treated like an object or a piece of property, least of all by the person they’re supposed to be in a loving relationship. If your partner is making comments about your weight or eating habits that make you feel uncomfortable, it’s time to have a talk with them about their behavior.
Controlling habits are not healthy
Controlling relationships are never healthy. If any of the above signs sound familiar to you, it’s important to reach out for help from a friend, family member, therapist, or domestic violence hotline. Remember, you deserve to be in a safe and healthy relationship.
Seek help
It might be time to take a closer step back and assess whether your relationship is as healthy as it could be. Remember, a healthy relationship is one in which both partners feel like they have an equal say. No one deserves to be in a controlling or abusive relationship. If this is something you’re experiencing, please reach out for help from a trusted friend or professional today.
You deserve better treatment
If you recognize any of these warning signs in your own relationship, it’s important to take action before things get worse. Talk to your partner about why their behavior is making you feel uncomfortable. Moreso, if they’re unwilling or unable to change their ways, then maybe it’s time to reconsider whether this is the right relationship for you.
Remember, you deserve to be with someone who respects you, loves you for who you are, and doesn’t try to control every aspect of your life.
Is Your Partner Controlling You? Here Are Some Warning Signs. You need to act accordingly because a controlling relationship can easily turn into an abusive relationship.
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