We all know that when cheating happens in a relationship, the effect can be very devastating for both couples. One will be thinking why my partner could do such a thing with the type of love and affection they show for them. It could be unbelievable for some people to see their partners engaging in the act of infidelity. I can tell you, it’s not easy to be cheated on. Therefore 10 effects of cheating in a relationship cannot be overlooked.
Even though the way people react to this breach of trust is different, the psychological effect after all might be the same. Many people never know the type of consequences that will happen after their partner hears the ugly news. It takes wisdom and maturity to handle such situations.
I can imagine, that many people will not even know what to do in such a difficult moment. Some can do terrible things that they will regret later. Because of the way they feel emotionally. All these come because of the careless attitude of their partner. It can create a hot argument and tension in a relationship. This affects everything negatively in the home I believe.
Do you know that there is no amount of psychological feelings and embarrassment that this ugly act causes? Some cheaters will not even sober for their deeds, because it’s in their DNA. They always look for a way to justify their cheating and come up with a story and shift the blame on their partner. They’re not ready to apologize because they think they’re right after all.
Causes of cheating
We have recently talked about the reasons why men and women cheat. So, now, it’s time to talk about the side effect infidelity causes in a relationship.
The causes of infidelity differ from couple to couple. But one thing that is certain is that from old to modern days, infidelity is unacceptable. And it should not be seen in a relationship because it destroys the good relationship you’ve built together over the years. It takes just a few minutes to ruin the happiness of a home because of infidelity and perhaps when the trust is lost.
The atmosphere is changed, and sometimes difficult to get it back again. And it might take time for the wound to heal.
How does cheating affect relationships?
The negative effects of cheating in a relationship manifest as massive heartbreak and serious trust issues. It does not matter how many times your partner cheats, even if it’s just once, cheating is cheating. The reaction to being cheated upon is always very hard and strong. Whether you notice that your partner is emotionally or sexually close to someone, being a new crush or their ex. It comes with headaches and lots of sleepless nights. It’s just terrible sometimes to explain.
Psychologist Nandita Rambhia (MSc, Psychology), who specializes in CBT, REBT, and couples counseling says, “The initial and long-term effects of cheating in a relationship are quite different from one another. In a committed monogamous relationship, the initial reaction to cheating will be that the other person would feel extremely hurt. This will be translated in the form of sadness, being upset, or extreme anger too.”
Long term effect
In the long term, such adverse effects of cheating in a relationship will result in more severe self-doubt and anxiety. Not only does it affect the present, but the insecurity after being cheated on affects future relationships too. Because they have experienced a basic betrayal, a person would find it difficult to trust any future partner easily. They will have a hard time figuring out if their partner is being honest and the value of honesty may get lost in the relationship.”
Does it affect both couples?
We can say yes, cheating affects both couples. Because guilty conscience alone is enough for the betrayal to battle with, not to talk of the embarrassment they will face from their partner. It can also lead to depression if the secret has been going on for a long time.
If the betrayal accepts their fault and is sincerely ready to apologize, it will help their partner heal quickly. But if they’re defensive and dwell on a blaming game, it will make the situation get even more worst. A partner that is a habitual cheater will never consider the negative impact their action will bring to the relationship.
There are three possibilities after the occurrence of cheating in a relationship. The relationship can come to an end after an ugly event. Secondly, partners can still be in a stage of doubt, and decide to stay together but disconnect physically, emotionally, and mentally. At the same time, the third one is when couples decide to work together on their relationship and rebuild the trust again which usually takes time to do.
Common effects of cheating in a relationship
Deep pain and agony
It’s difficult to comprehend the type of pain and agony the innocent partner is going through. It causes a lot of heartbreak seeing your partner cheating right in front of you. Some people are even cheating with a close friend of their partner. Can you imagine how difficult it will be for that cheated partner to cope in such a scenario when their secret leaks out?
When it’s too much pain to bear, people break into uncontrollable tears. It creates a lot of gaps between the couples.
It breaches trust
There is no more trust in the relationship after cheating occurs. It is absolutely difficult to believe what their partner has to say. Despite lots of explanations, they will still doubt every single word and cannot rely on them like before even though they’ve apologized for their deeds and promised to change. Their partner will think twice before they can give their best to the relationship again. Because they will suspect every move of their partner.
According to Nandita, “It’s not going to be easy to trust your partner after cheating. It is going to take a lot of time. The partner who has cheated will have to put in a lot of effort to see to it that their partner starts to trust them again. A lot of patience, love, and forgiveness is required to put away the past incident and start afresh.”
There will always be hot arguments and fight
This cannot be avoided after cheating. Because the betrayed partner will be full of anger and bitterness. They will spark at every little thing which will result in hot arguments and if possible physical abuse. Some partner has a hot temper and their hands work faster than their mouth. Sometimes it may not be deliberate but that’s common among some couples after infidelity.
Mostly the cheated partner might find it unbearable to face the trauma and crying of their partner. Some people can scatter the whole house when they lose control. People react to difficult situations differently, I can tell you, it’s not going to be pleasant to witness the reaction of the other partner at all.
However, don’t let the situation overpower you and lead to physical abuse. No matter how terrible you may feel after your partner’s infidelity. If you know you’re hot temper person and you cannot stand the situation, just go out and leave your partner alone until you calm down.
Self-condemnation and low self-esteem
One of the worst effects of cheating is self-condemnation. The horrible feelings will make the other partner have negative thoughts about their self-worth. So many thoughts will be coming to their mind like maybe they’re not good enough. Or is the other woman or man good sexually than I am? Are they beautiful or more intelligent than I do?
They will be asking themselves lots of questions without answering. Maybe I didn’t have enough time for him/her. All these feelings bring them down and make them look down on themselves. Its one of the psychological effects on the partner because it affects them emotionally and mentally. It can even get worst especially if they catch their partner on the acts on their matrimonial bed. This can make them feel guilty and lose their happiness and feel it’s their fault that makes their partner cheated.
Spreading of sexually transmitted disease
This is one of the dangerous effects of cheating that no one ever wants to experience. A cheater partner can contact sexually transmitted diseases and share them with their partner. It can cause the innocent partner lots of pain and agony. Paying a horrible price just for the silly mistakes of their partner.
Cheating affects the future relationship
There is no doubt that cheating affects every stage of a relationship. The relationship that has been going on well and healthy becomes suddenly sour after cheating. Maybe they’ve been talking and planning about their future together to get married as a couple. That plan will be automatically suspended if not canceled. However, the other partner may want to take extra care and revisit he/her decision again.
It will be very difficult to believe their partner or even anybody around them. Some people can jump to conclusion that they will never trust anyone if their lovely partner could break their heart. They will always want to take caution and think twice before they can rely on their partner wholeheartedly. Even the cheated partner will be fully ashamed and psychologically depressed which could also affect the longevity of the relationship.
It affects intimacy
This is the first thing that cheating does in a relationship. There will be no intimacy physical or sexual. The other partner will not like to move closer to the cheated partner not to talk about having sex together. The mode of attraction and affection is completely gone. They will be easily irritated and not in mood syndrome can set in.
Cheating affects communication
Communication flow will be greatly affected between the two partners. The innocent partner may not want to talk to the cheater. There are lots of questions that need answers but when there is no communication, this can prolong the evil days. But the other partner may want to punish the cheater by giving him/her silent treatment, even though it’s not the best solution.
It affects the family relationship
Can you imagine if your partner goes and report to your parent or family member that you cheat? It’s so embarrassing and a disgrace to one’s parents and family. Which explanation can someone give to their inlaw about infidelity? It’s a shameful thing, or if your children hear about the ugly scene. It affects the bond of the family. There will be chaos and negative utterances that nobody ever wants to hear. This will affect the unity of the family from both sides.
It can lead to divorce
Sometimes cheating can result in divorce, especially between married couples. It’s one of the major reasons for divorce today because it’s also against the law of matrimony.
Moreover, it can degenerate to the extent that the innocent partner requests a DNA test to know if the children are actually theirs. It can actually affect children psychologically and emotionally. Imagine a child that has already known Mr. A as a father suddenly hears he’s not the biological father. This will have a negative impact on the life of such a child. The child can be unstable in school and even their social life will be greatly affected.
Can result in a suicide mission
This is one of the dangerous effects of infidelity in a relationship. One of the couples might think of committing suicide. It can either go both ways, I have heard a situation where the cheater can not withstand the shame and embarrassment and take an overdose of medicine and kill themselves. They eventually write a note and explain why they take the drastic decision.
They probably think that dying is better than facing the consequences of their action.
Can lead to death
It’s the greatest effect of all that can affect everything in the relationship. For example, there was an infidelity scenario that happen just recently. A friend saw her close friend’s husband in a shopping mall together with his side chicks. She decided to call her friend and informed her, thinking she was doing her a favor.
Moreover, in an attempt for the wife to chase after her husband and the side chicks, she eventually lost control in overspeeding and was involved in a fatal accident that took her life. Now her three children suddenly become motherless. What will become of the family, nobody can tell. We cannot underestimate the kind of effect that infidelity can cause. It could be a disaster than what you think.
Come out stronger together
It is possible to come out stronger together after infidelity if both couples agree to work it out. It will require a lot of effort and courage to forgive. We all know that is not going to be easy but with a genuine apology and a sincere change of heart, yes you can wither the storm together. Even though it will take time for things to become normal but maturity and effective communication plays a huge role.
It’s always advisable to save your relationship from infidelity because the consequences are hard even though we know there is no problem that cannot be solved. Do away with anything that will lead you to infidelity, prevention is better than cure.
Some fact questions
Is it possible for someone to change after infidelity?
Of course, it is very possible for someone to retrace their step back. Some people cheat because of some factors, if those factors are met, they become a changed person to their partner. They will like to do everything to please their partner after the shame of cheating.
Can cheating destroy a relationship?
The answer is yes. Many relationships that could have lasted forever have been ruined and ended suddenly because of infidelity. When the innocent partner finds it difficult to let go and forgive from their heart. And the betrayer is not ready to accept their fault rather playing smart, separation is inevitable.
Why is cheating so frequent in today’s relationships?
There are many reasons why this is happening. When people are not contented, boredom, sexual dissatisfaction, temptation, and much more.
Can cheating be avoided?
Yes, it can be avoided if the couple can be faithful to their vows. Trust and peace will reign in the relationship. Couples will both enjoy a strong and healthy relationship.