How to clear the painful picture and erase negative thoughts from your mind is the first thing to do. It’s essential for the healing process. How to stop thinking about what happened all the time is imperative, then you will have time and the strength to embrace peace, find a solution, and finally how you can move forward. Therefore how to deal with depression after infidelity is highly recommended.
Grief is one of the experiences of depression after the occurrence of infidelity in a relationship. How this grief is managed determines how well you survive depression quickly. It also helps you to handle this difficult moment and show the way forward.
What is depression and what provoked it?
Many people suffer from depression, but what does it look like to be depressed?
According to the brain and behavior research foundation defines depression is a serious condition that negatively affects how a person thinks, feels, and behaves. In contrast to normal sadness, clinical depression is persistent, often interferes with a person’s ability to experience or anticipate pleasure, and significantly interferes with functioning in daily life.
How infidelity affects your mind
Cannot think straight
It is challenging to think straight because it is the ugly scene that will keep coming into your mind. You will be seeing it as if you’re watching a movie. Sometimes you don’t want it but your mind is preoccupied with it. That’s how bad infidelity affects your mind. You will not have any other thing to think of rather than it.
You’re full of questions
Your mind will be jumping up and down full of real questions. You will even query yourself like where was I when my partner did this? How does it happen? How did they meet? When do they start their affairs? Your mind is being pieced and it’s very difficult to assemble it together like a puzzle game.
Remember every betrayer’s word
You will be replaying your partner’s lies and betrayers’ words in your head. How do they try to convince you or justify their actions?
Cannot communicate direct
You cannot talk to your partner direct without rehearsing what you want to say. This is because your mind has been totally messed up and already polluted. You’re hearing your own shouting and how exhausted you are. So you’re imagining a situation you never dream of. You’re totally confused.
The vision of being lonely in the relationship and of course the future always erupts in your mind.
How it affects your personality
A negative reaction comes to you in less than a second because you’re full of anger toward your partner. Your thinking is always centered on your partner cheating nothing more. Your reaction is like a burning fire and it’s disconnecting you from them.
You become another person suddenly because the situation has made you lose your integrity. You’re not yourself anymore, you talk and behave anyhow. You can easily see, that this is not really who you are. You feel so terrible and sad, all this is happening because you’re already depressed.
How to receive strength and comfort after cheating
Acknowledge the source of the problem
It is always good to find out what causes the problem, then it will help you deal with the issue. Because sometimes infidelity doesn’t just happen without something triggering it even though not all the time. Some partners cheat out of selfish interest and never care about the negative impact their actions might cost.
While the majority of infidelity issues show there are loopholes in the relationship. Maybe you’re not sensitive to the need of your partner or other issues that have been neglected and not resolved
When the causes of the problem are known and ready to work on it, it will make it a bit easy to deal with the depression of infidelity afterward and heal from the wound. it will help you to think of rebuilding trust with each other again and see things in another dimension.
Bring out the emotions
It will be difficult for you at first to accept what happened because of the shock. You will be doubting and don’t want to believe the possibility of your partner being cheated on you. Sometimes you may think the pain and agony of infidelity are gone, but when you face the reality, it’s like your heaven wants to fall, and you’re down completely. Feeling down emotionally with tears.
Sometimes after your partner’s confession and apology, you may think that you’ve accepted and try to let the wound heal but the memory keeps coming back to your mind and messing you up again. It’s normal to feel like that because it’s not what you want or plan for that happens to you. So you don’t need to condemn and blame yourself. All the sad feelings are part of the healing process. It’s better to pour them out than store them inside of you. They’re poisonous to your system. If you want to cry, it’s okay, because the more they come out the better.
At this moment, you want to be alone, so that you can know exactly what you want to do. Seeking help from friends and family may sound good but may not necessarily help, because it’s only you that feels the pain and the decision is yours.
Moreover, there is nothing anyone can tell you that will take the pain away suddenly.
Concentrate on how to get over feelings of loneliness
This is a very difficult stage. You will be feeling empty completely. You will feel like you’ve lost someone precious and dear to you. At that particular time, it seems you will never see your partner again, someone you shared everything with like intimacy, someone you confide in. It’s like you will never have someone to share your personal affection with again.
However, you feel or wish you’ve never married. The situation might seem very far from reality because you’re feeling lonely.
Despite your partner being in the house, you feel like they don’t exist. Even at some stage, you don’t want to welcome any guests like family and friends into your house. You want to isolate yourself almost from everyone. It’s a difficult moment for everyone passing through it.
How to get over the isolation period
Even though isolating yourself from your loved ones is not the solution. People react in different ways when it comes to losing someone you cherish and valued.
How to relieve yourself from grief and depression after cheating. Since we’ve heard about infidelity over and over again in a relationship and marriages. It’s not new but at the same time is not a good experience.
Good suggestions might flow from friends and family just to encourage you to let go and forgive your partner but is better to say than do. It is better to be griefed and depressed once and for all immediately after cheating than push the evil days forward. Then try to pay attention to how you can overcome loneliness so that you start gaining the courage to move forward. One of the solutions is to communicate with your partner when you’re ready to talk.
You can learn from the mistake of infidelity
There is always a lesson to learn from every mistake that happened. Sometimes spouses reconcile after the affair, but the “we are special and will never get divorced”-the feeling is gone.
Some of the experiences after infidelity can teach you a different lesson about your relationship or marriage. Perhaps there are some areas that you need to look into and make amendments to.
Determine to let go
Everything is possible when we determine and desire to do it, the same is applicable to the issue of infidelity. When you determine to let go, it will strengthen you to be able to forgive your partner. Even though it hurts occasionally, it’s normal because we are humans.
We know is very difficult to let go, but when you truly love your partner and think no one is perfect. If you desire to work on your relationship rather than quit, letting go is necessary. When you let go, you will have peace of mind, you will be able to sleep at night and so many other positive things will follow that will strengthen your relationship. Even though it will take time before this can happen. It’s a process of healing and one of the best ways on how to deal with depression after infidelity.
It’s one of the greatest keys to healing faster from depression after cheating. It’s another better gift you can give your partner. Even though when you forgive them you’re also helping yourself. It’s healthy for your health and for the relationship. It may sound foolish why should you forgive the person that causes you a lot of heartbreak, I can understand. But remember to forget is human and to forgive is divine. When you learn to forgive others, God will also forgive you.
Seek professional help
Even though we discourage infidelity but don’t let the depression after infidelity mess up your life. Many people are completely down and lose their senses because depression can be so severe from person to person. Try to get over it and make the best out of your relationship. But if it’s very difficult to get over the painful experience, you may seek professional help.
Many couples survived the issue of infidelity when they agree to turn the negative part of it into a lesson. After infidelity, they try to forgive each other and handle it maturely. Infidelity is not the end of the world for many couples. They start afresh and make their relationship or marriage stronger and healthier. I have seen a lot of couples even bond more and become Romie and Juliet just like in the beginning.