Submission is an important requirement for a successful marriage. It does not matter where you come from in any part of the world. Whatever religion you have, the most important and common advice that every parent gives to their daughter on their wedding day is to be submissive to her husband. This shows that being submissive plays a vital role in a marriage. How to be a submissive wife to your husband is highly needed for every woman.
When I was young, I learned how to be a submissive child from my grandmother. She used to tell me that when you submit to any authority over you, it will help you to obey, make a way for yourself, and achieve whatever you want in life. Even though I didn’t understand the concept then. But her advice has helped me in the journey of life and most especially in my marriage.
As I grew up, I later understood the real meaning of submission. I have seen that the word submission is not only applicable to marriage alone but to all facets of life.
It is also used in a circular world when we look at the definition of submission as the action of accepting or yielding to a superior force or the will and authority of another person over you. We are yielding to the superior authority of our boss at work.
Submission
It is ordained by God for every woman to submit to their own husband. Ephesians 5: 22 says wives submit yourselves unto your own husband, as unto the Lord. Also, Colossians 3: 18 repeated it again, Wives submit yourselves unto your own husband, as it is fit in the Lord. As godly wives, it is our responsibility to be submissive and when we do that, we are obeying and honoring God at the same time.
In a home where the wife is struggling to submit, there is always a conflict in such a home. Submission is an ideal character for a blissful marriage. A submissive wife is a blessing and always enjoys her husband. When you see any couple that is doing well in their marriage no matter how long they’ve been married. It’s because of a submissive wife that makes it happen.
How to be submissive
Obey the word of God
When you know that submission comes from God and as a godly wife, who wants to please God. You’re always willing to do so. Submission is part of the requirement as a child of God. When you submit totally to Him, God will give you the grace to submit easily to your husband. Even when it is hard for you to do. James 4: 7 says that as Christians, we should submit ourselves to God.
As you are dwelling in the word of God daily, It will help you to fellowship and move closer to God and also help you submit to your husband.
Know that Your husband is the head
As the bible says husband is the head of the home as Christ is the head of the church. There is no controversy about that being our husband taking the leadership of our home. We can not change it. The word of God says, that as the church is subject to Christ, women are subject to their husbands. It is God’s order and we have to accept and run by it.
Pray for him
We need to pray for our husbands because as the head and leader of our home, it comes with big expectations and responsibilities. It requires our constant prayer for him to lead us right. Ephesians 5: 23 says, For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body and is himself its Savior. We need to also pray for him that God will provide everything that he needs to run the home successfully.
When you know this, you will never struggle to compete with the leadership of your husband. Even though you are the breadwinner of your family. It is God that gives him the power to rule over you and He will bless you more in abundance.
Decision Making
As the head of the family, give him the chance to make decisions over your home. Do you know that when you are submissive, you will always make decisions together? This is what I have realized in my marriage of over 20 years. Whenever there is an issue, my husband will not take the decision alone. He always asks for my opinion.
Because I am always listening and respecting his wishes. I’m always praying for the grace to submit daily. Being submissive is a continuous process and it has no limitations. It requires prayers because we can not do it by our strength as humans. It’s one of the lessons of how to be a submissive wife to your husband.
You are helpmate
God made us as a helper to our husbands. As the bible says in Genesis 2: 18, it was not good that man should live alone. Therefore I will make a helper for him. As a godly wife, your help is highly needed. You can make your opinion count but not impose it. Do everything with love and humility.
Be a good helper to your husband, he can not do anything alone without you being on his side. As an adage says, behind every successful husband, there is a good helpmate and a submissive wife.
Compromise
For you to be a submissive wife, you have to compromise several times for peace to reign. Even though you have a very good opinion. You still have to accept and agree with your husband’s decision. Let him know when you do not agree with his decision but in a polite way. Don’t criticize him negatively rather take your argument to God in prayer.
Because your husband’s decision might affect your home positively or negatively, ask the Holy Spirit to help your husband to make the right decision that will benefit your home. A submissive wife is always on her knees. She realizes that her strength is in God.
What does being Submissive do in a marriage
Benefits
Obedience
Do you know that when you are submissive, it helps you to obey God? Because since you cannot see God, you are yielding and obeying the word of God true to your husband. It means that you accept the word of God via your husband. Because, someone that you cannot accept, it will be difficult for you to submit to him. When you submit to your husband, it’s a service unto God.
Honoring
It gives you the grace to honor God and your husband when you submit. Can you remember how you honor your boss at work? You know that your work is at stake if you do not be under the will and the superior authority of the company. You cannot work and enjoy being a good employee. Learn to apply the same idea to your marriage and you will see the difference. Cherish your husband more than you do for your boss.
Appreciation
Being a submissive wife helps you to appreciate your husband. Remember someone you cannot submit to, how can you appreciate him? It is when you submit that you can see the good side of your husband and appreciate the good gift of him in your life.
Respect
Do you know that submission and respect go hand in hand? It’s when you submit to him that you can show him respect. A woman who does not submit can not also respect her husband. She will struggle a lot and this will affect her intimacy with her husband.
Unity
It promotes unity in marriage. When you are a submissive wife, it increases your relationship with your husband. Your marriage will flourish and grow better. It makes you be at the same pace as your husband. Then you can plan and achieve whatever goal you set for your marriage. Peace always reigns in a home where a woman is submissive.
Intimacy
The heart of your husband will always be yawning for you. When you are a submissive wife, it helps you to bond more together. It helps to spark the fire of romance in your marriage. You will always be happy. Your husband will love and care more for you. You will be the apple of his eyes.
His love for you will be growing stronger even in your old age. A submissive wife is a pride to her husband. You will sit back to eat the fruits of your labor in peace.
What does it mean to be a Submissive wife?
Being a submissive wife doesn’t mean that you are weak. It doesn’t mean that you are a slave to your husband or doesn’t mean that you’re a fool. It simply means that you are an obedient child of God. It shows that you love and accept God with your heart. It also shows that you’re mature and trust completely in him.
It means you are supporting your husband in building a solid and long-lasting marriage. God will honor you for that and touch the heart of your husband to do his part.
If you are married to an unbeliever, being submissive can help your husband to know Christ. 1 Peter 3: 1 says wives should be in subjection to their husbands so that if any do not obey, they will be won by the actions of their wives. You can lead your husband to Christ true your attitude of submission and even other women that are in contact with you.
Importance of being submissive
You will always be happy and joyous. Being a submissive wife, you are laying a good foundation for your children to emulate. Your husband will always be there for you in any situation. You’re always at peace and be a good example to other women. God will bless you for your obedience.
Submissiveness is a way to a successful marriage. It will make your love for him to wax stronger.
Here are some common questions about submissive
I understand that submission can be difficult sometimes for some reason, but as a godly woman, you have to do your part no matter the situation.
- Can I still submit when my husband does not show me, love?
Answer: Yes, you have to submit. You are fulfilling God’s word and obeying his commandment when you submit. When you do your part, God is faithful to his word. That is why praying for our husbands is very important. You can pray for your husband to love you the way he ought to. Prayer works when you obey.
2. Some women say, if my husband doesn’t love me first, do I need to submit?
The answer is yes: You must submit and obey God. Remember, submission comes first because he is the head of the family and you should yield to his will. Moreover, as a godly woman, you should not correlate it like that.
Many women have left their beautiful homes because of a lack of submission. Which has led to regret and bitterness. Remember you are submitting to him as God says and there is a reward for everything.
Prayer for our home is very crucial. When it’s difficult to submit, you can pray to God to give you the grace and ability to submit to your husband.
3. Can I still submit when my husband is not faithful to our marital vows?
Answer
The answer is still yes. Your submission to your husband can bring him back to you even in a difficult situation. But with prayer and supplication to God. Commit his heart to the owner of his life, because the heart of a king belongs to God.
I know that it’s not so easy to submit in some circumstances. But nothing is impossible if you are willing and with the help of the Holy Spirit, his grace is sufficient for you. So that you don’t harbor bitterness and unforgiveness in your heart and sin against God.
When you are submissive, it helps you to forgive your husband and God will take control of his life and give him a change of heart. If you pray with a submissive heart, God hears and grants you your heart’s desire.
Thank you