There are a lot of factors that cause sex challenges between the couple. It has been a huge problem for many couples and they don’t really know how to solve them because it’s a no-go area. This tells us that these challenges of sex in marriage and how to overcome them cannot be overlooked. They are important issues in a marriage that need urgent solutions.
A lot of Christian homes are passing through hell in their marriages. This is just because they are shy away from reality and when they cannot open up to each other. They will just be fighting each other because of just little things. Whereas what is causing the problem is sex, what I call the secret enemy of marriage that we need to deal with.
It affects both men and women
Sexual dysfunction is common, but many couples don’t like to talk about it. Whereas, there are solutions for this problem. First, you need to discuss with your partner and of course your doctor. The challenges of sex in marriage can affect any age but are often more associated with age 40 and above. This is because of a decline in health. Research shows that 43% of women and 31% of men have been reported having this issue in their homes.
Here are some common challenges of sex that are tearing couples apart in a marriage.
When men are having these symptoms such as:
Inability to maintain or have a poor erection that is suitable for sexual intercourse (erectile dysfunction).
Delay ejaculation even though there is enough romance and stimulation (retarded ejaculation).
Unable to control the timing of ejaculation (early and or premature ejaculation).
Inability to relax the vaginal muscles enough to allow intercourse.
Unable to achieve orgasm.
Inadequate vaginal lubrication before and during intercourse.
These affect both:
Lack of interest
Inability to become aroused- No excitement during sexual activity
Pain during intercourse
Meanwhile, there are some other challenges of sex that affect a lot of marriages.
This can also pose a big problem between couples. If one of the couples has a very high sex drive and the other partner can not meet the demand. It can cause a major setback in their sexual intimacy with each other.
In such a situation, there is a need for the couple to open up to each other. Good communication is highly needed, then a solution will definitely come. You should feel free to express your feeling to your partner. Maybe there is a need to change the style or exploit more methods that will bring satisfaction for both of you. Try to figure out something so that both parties will be happy at the end of the day.
Affraid of conception
Many women have these challenges with their spouses. A woman that has already had 3 or 4 children and who is not willing to have more children again will be skeptical about sex. The woman will be automatically afraid anytime her spouse wants to make love with her. It’s natural as an adage says, experience is the best teacher. Sexual intimacy to such a woman will be something else.
In this case, family planning is recommended even though it’s not 100% secured. Other methods such as total withdrawer and menstrual cycle timing are other good suggestions. The couple needs to find out what type of family planning works for them. It’s just a matter of mutual understanding and communication.
Lack of knowledge
When you have the knowledge of what you are going through, then the solution is not far-fetched. Many couples are facing sex challenges because they are ignorant of it and don’t know how to handle them. Some are feeling shy to discuss such things or seeing it as taboo yet, is affecting their marriage. There are many solutions if only you desire to seek and talk about them. Seeking knowledge is profitable.
Previous sexual abuse
This is another major issue even long after they got married. Some women even made up their minds never to get married again. I can understand it is not easy to forget what has happened in the past. Many people are still holding on to it. That ugly memory always comes to them whenever their spouses make a move of romance.
Moreover, since you have married, you just have to let go and enjoy your marriage. Your spouse should not be the one to pay for the sin he has not committed. Don’t let your past destroy the beautiful home God has given you. Pray about it for God to give you the grace to overcome this challenge.
Pain during and after intercourse
When a woman or man is having pain during intercourse is a big challenge for him/her. They will always have excuses whenever their partner makes a move to have sex. If there is a particular time you experience this pain. Feel free to say it loud to your partner, because it can result to fear. If it’s too painful to handle, couples can consult their medical professional for help.
Sickness or family problem
Health and physical challenges can also be a major barrier to sexual intimacy in a marriage. When one of the couples or family members is sick. Sex will be the last thing to think about. Alcoholism and drug abuse are other causes of the problem with sexual intimacy in marriages. It is when everyone is healthy and physically alright, that a romance game and sexual urge is sure between the couple.
Medication side effects
However, side effects from some medications such as antidepressant drugs can affect sexual function. There are some medicine prescriptions and even non-prescription medicine that can have a negative impact on sexual functioning. Some of the medicines affect libido (desire). While others make you unable to achieve orgasm or even become aroused.
It has been reported that antihistamines and decongestants cause poor erection or ejaculation problems. There is a high risk of sexual side effects with lots of medications intake.
Discuss the problem with your doctor for a solution, don’t keep silent.
When a woman fails to respond to a sexual stimulus during intercourse called anorgasmia. It will reduce her interest in sexual intimacy with her spouse. Because she will feel that after all, she is not going to enjoy anything. Failure to achieve orgasm will definitely give her an excuse or even kill her sex mood. Frigidity is natural for some women. Whereas when some women have undergone several miscarriages. The fear of another miscarriage can lead to their frigidity. This is one of the challenges of sex in marriage and how to overcome them.
You should have faith in God. To be fearful is the work of the devil. Believe that you will surely carry your pregnancy to the delivery time. Commit it to God’s hand from conception to delivery, and it will end in praise. You will surely carry your testimony.
Not in mood syndrome
This syndrome can come in diverse ways. Can also be I am tired syndrome. Couples should find a way to tackle this. What works for couple A might be different from couple B. Just try to figure out how to create a good mood for sexual intimacy. Most men should learn and understand how to water the ground and increase their spouse’s appetizer for this act. It’s one of the major challenges of sex in marriage.
With love, you need to work on each other. Don’t use she is not in mood syndrome as an excuse for extramarital affairs or abandon your partner. It will only add more to the problem. Since there is no perfect marriage, maybe your own syndrome is different. Just look for a love medicine that can cure your own specific syndrome.
Menopause can be a hindrance to sexual intimacy. There are major hormonal changes in women’s bodies. The production of estrogen and progesterone hormones by the ovaries decreases. This leads to less moisturized and vaginal dryness and reduces her stimulation to enjoy sexual intimacy. Levels of another hormone testosterone, it’s a male androgen hormone that is produced at lower levels in women also decreases.
Research shows that intermittent decreases in progesterone affect menstrual periods more than they affect sexual function. There are also age-related declines in testosterone that may affect the sex drive of a woman (Libido).
When there is communication flow between the couple. They will easily notice it and find out how to tackle the issue rather than fighting unnecessarily. Hormone therapy can be used as a supplement to avoid this dryness. Also, perfume-free vaseline can be used by men as a lubricant.
Lack of children
When a woman is looking for a child for so many years and has tried everything. She will be tired of having sexual intimacy. It can be a huge barrier and affects her mood. It’s natural like an adage that says, too much of a long delay of a thing will make heart loses hope. She will be thinking since I have been doing it for 10 or many years, nothing happens. It takes the grace of God. This has become one of the challenges of sex in marriage and how to overcome them is highly recommended.
I have good news for you. You can learn from the story of Hannah in the bible. Put your trust in God and have faith. Because with God all things are possible. A delay is not a denial. Your own Samuel is on the way and you will carry your own baby.
Infidelity, lack of trust
Lack of trust in a marriage can be a hindrance to sexual intimacy between couples. When one of the partners breaks the vows they make to each other. The other party will always get irritated when it comes to sex. The mood and excitement will no longer be there because the emotional connection is gone. This can lead to many problems in such a marriage. I encourage you to learn from the challenges of sex in marriage and how to overcome them. You will overcome the challenges and take your marriage to the next level.
Solution to infidelity
Moreover, the only solution is that couples should be faithful to one each. Stay and be loyal to your partner. As the bible says in the book of proverbs chapter 5 verse 19 to all men, let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe, let her breast satisfy you at all times, and be thou ravished always with her love. If there is anything like an inferiority complex. Take good care of her and bring her up to your standard. Groom her to a woman you always want her to be. It’s not men alone, I understand that women also cheat. Be satisfied with what you have. When you are not faithful to your partner, it’s a sin against God.
Lack of proper communication
Poor communication in a marriage can be a challenge to sex. When there is a lack of communication, couples begin to suspect each other. Any small move, you have already jumped to a conclusion. The only solution is to be open and honest with your partner. Communication is one of the vital ingredients that sustain a marriage. Make sure you always talk about every issue, don’t keep silent.
When you harbor a lot of problems within yourself in your mind, it will get to a stage when you can no longer bear it. It’s like a bomb ready to explode, when you explode, it will definitely affect your sexual intimacy. It’s one of the challenges of sex in marriage and how to overcome it that requires improvement.
When one of the couples is having a psychological issue, it can create a gap between them. It can be stress from work or anxiety. Unable to meet the desired demand at work. Marital or relationship problems, feeling guilty, physical appearance (overweight). These have been one of the challenges of sex in marriage and how to overcome them is highly necessary.
Unpleasant noise from the bedroom
Couples should be aware of this most especially when you have visitors around. You never know who is listening when you are being carried away by romantic talk or during a sexual act. You should also take your children into consideration. Be careful with an unnecessary ringtone from the bedroom that can attract other people’s attention.
Moreso, you can be so much embarrassed if someone just rushes in and sees you in the act unexpectedly. It can be a huge challenge for such a couple.
In such a situation, you can put on loud music to cover up. Even though you shout unconsciously while having sex, nobody will hear it.
It is very important to discuss your problem with the right people. It is not just anybody. As a Christian, it is good to go for counseling. Many Christian couples tend to open up to their pastors or other counselors. Other couples that you can trust and confide in, people that you see as a role model can also be of help. But be careful of the kind of people you discuss your problem with, so you don’t get misled.
Moreover, when medication is the cause of the challenges. If you notice some changes in your body after taking some drugs. Don’t hesitate to discuss this with your doctor. Change in the medication may be of help.
Hormone supplements can be used by couples with hormone deficiencies.
There is also medication to treat menopause problems.
When couples are facing all these types of sex challenges in their homes. The best is to seek professional help. There is nothing new under the sun. There is always a solution to every problem. So desire to solve these problems together and enjoy your marriage as it ought to be.
Prayer is one of the weapons that Christian has. In any challenges, let us take it to God in prayer.
Always communicate with your spouse- Talk about sex, don’t feel shy, and keep suffering in silence. Because a problem shared is a problem solved.
Share your problem with the right people.
Seek professional help
Educate yourself about sex and seek knowledge